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The Decision Making Process
Making choices is never straightforward and the worst thing is we are never taught how one can make decisions. No one taught us this life skill as we are rising up. No one in school or at house taught us. We only be taught via observation. And most of the time we observe folks not knowing how one can make a decision!
And probably the most ineffective processes is within the making of a pros and cons list! And this is likely one of the most popular ways in which folks base their choices on.
So the most typical question I get from my students and purchasers is this: Do I make my resolution based mostly on logic or based mostly on what my heart tells me? Ah, this is where we journey ourselves up BIG TIME. We frequently see logic and our feelings as separate entities, because we now have not experienced them sufficient to be one unit. And we've not understood ourselves enough to know that they're interconnected.
Now let's play devil's advocate here: what is logic? The definition of logic is appropriate reasoning. However correct reasoning just isn't the last word truth. Our reasoning is predicated on data we've in the mean time, and so logic expands or contracts relying on available data/information. This also means that logic can change or evolve as we evolve. After we talk about logic, we seem to have a fixed idea that logic does not change. But after we talk about feelings/emotions, we have now no qualms about accepting that sure, our emotions/emotions do change depending on situations/circumstances.
If each logic and our feelings do evolve/rework, this signifies that our determination-making process is actually much easier than we think. Why? We've got a higher tolerance for things to change, and that even when we make a choice now primarily based on what we know, that call has room to evolve as well because we're open to the concept we will have more info over time.
Ultimately, this implies that we can only make choices based mostly on the current moment. I know this sounds kinda zen. But this is the only way we can move. We can not live our lives stuck prior to now based mostly on previous information, neither can we wait in anticipation of what is to return, and be in paralysis, not knowing methods to make the decision. So we are able to only make selections primarily based on the present moment. Does this make sense to you?
The problem with us humans is that we're so filled with fears that confront us in our aware and unconscious that it is sort of inconceivable for most people to make choices based mostly on the present moment. Most individuals can't live like this. They need guarantees in life, they need ensures in success, they fear to be in pain, to be hurt. And so they just wish to management everything occurring of their lives, which we know could be impossible.
Trying to regulate everything and wanting guarantees is just not residing, and it comes from a particularly egocentric perspective that you just truly think you have any form of control in any respect, which stems from a narcissistic egomaniac mind! Can you imagine that most of humanity working this way?
In the end, what occurs is that people start making decisions based mostly on their fears. "Never trust your fears, they do not know your strengths" this is such a great quote! Our fears are brief-sighted and often haven't any depth in perspective, and making our decisions based mostly on fears limits us, and prevents us from seeing more and further, and it definitely keeps us within the loop of our comfort zone. We really feel a brief sense of freedom, thinking we have now made the choice that serves us, however whatever choices we've got made that stems from concern will come back to haunt us, it is only a matter of time.
As zen as it may sound, the most effective determination-making process is still one that is based mostly on the present second, that feeds into our empowered state, and provides us a way of freedom to understand that: hey! I am always free to alter my perspective about things, people, situations and that I am allowed to evolve.
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